Social Sleeping Is No Place For Cold Feet "rising to the challenge of sharing a bed" Dr. David J. Demko, gerontologist and editor-in-chief AgeVenture Syndicated News Service 08-16-06 For better or worse, life as a couple means sharing darn near every aspect of your life. Heck, many couples never bother to close the bathroom door. All that "Close To You" time can turn pretty ugly if, in the mind of your parnter, someone is getting the short-end of the "sharing stick". No doubt you're battled over whose turn it is to pick up the kids after soccer, fill the gas tank of the family car, control the TV remote, decide when to leave the party (my favorite), pick out the evening's movie rental, decide what topping to get on the pizza, and whose turn to feed-change-check on the baby. Well, you get the point. It's exhausting. Makes you dead-tired, longing for a good-night's sleep ... in your SHARED BED! If all this sharing gives you a mental-hernia, have not fear, help is on the way. University of Minnesota social science professor Paul Rosenblatt has written a truly unique book about how we spend one-third of our lives ... sleeping. One-third of our lives. That's 25 years spent in the bedroom. What do people do with all that time, besides eat crackers and watch TV? Readers will find Rosenblatt's book a first-ever exploration of the challenges and benefits of sleeping together. We all understand the BENEFITS of a shared bed. What we don't know is how to cope with the challenges ... like when your better half is going to SHUT UP and turn-off that mindless TV program that's keeping you bug-eyed and sleepless. When it comes to sharing the sheets with your toss-and-turn, snort-and-snore, cover-stealing "bedder half" ... the relationship can get pretty ugly in a heart beat. In the professor's new book, "Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing" he examines the dynamics of sharing your sleeping space. According to Rosenblatt, there is a plethora (professors use words like that) of publications the issues of sleep, but only from an individual point of view. In preparation for his book, Rosenblatt interviewed 42 bed-sharing couples. He was curious what it means to share a bed, how sharing affects the couple's relationship, how the relationship affects the bed sharing, and how couples deal with the complexities of sharing a bed. For most couples believe bed-time talks are crucial to the maintaining a good relationship. Afterall, for busy couples, it's the only chance they have to talk on a daily basis. "If they can stay awake, they talk for a few minutes each night," says Rosenblatt. Couple also intimated how sleeping in the same bed is a time for intimacy, a sense of belonging, and the security of sleeping with someone next to you. During the time just before drifting off to sleep, couples catch up on news, share plans, make decisions, deal with disagreements, and solve problems. Here's the point. People who have never shared a bed together have to learn how to do it. BACK TO TOP